New adventures!

Excited! I feel really excited, and that is a foreign feeling for me. I usually feel depressed, apathetic, angry, furious, hopeless and helpless. Or any mixture of those.

But now I feel happy and excited.

Due to a few things happening recently, I've decided to take up drawing. Thing number one that happened was I commissioned a fairly well-known artist on deviant art and asked her to draw something for me. I gave her specific instructions, paid her the money, and waited. Being as she expressed such enthusiasm for the commission, I expected a stunning result. After all, her work is good and popular.

The hag did NOTHING that I wanted, not one thing. I pointed this out to her and she seemed to think 'oops, sorry' was enough. I cannot express how disappointed I was and still am. Other artists I've worked with corrected any errors they made and showed me their progress along the way. She did none of that. So that's the first reason.

Second thing that happened is I saw this photo of this guy on the same site, faved it, commented, and struck up a small dialogue with him via notes and comments. I swear to god, he is so fucking hot. I'm totally stalking him on there. If he ever made it to this blog for whatever reason and read this, I'd probably die, but I don't think he will. Just a feeling.

I have to take a moment and say that if my fantasy of the perfect man ever came to life, he'd be it. He's older (I love older men), beefy (I hate skinny men), and has hair (I love long hair on guys). Naturally I spend a lot of time on his small gallery. He is absolutely outrageously talented. He draws as well as carves, paints and does digital art. I asked him about commissions, but I think I scared him away with my comments. Oh well.

But yeah, his talent is reason number two that I've taken up drawing. He just inspired me, you know? Reason number three is I see a lot of authors illustrating their own work and I am just so fucking jealous. It's like, damn you can already write, why do you have to be an artist too? So I figured hey, I should give it a shot. I stopped being jealous over it (that really lasted only a day or so) and began appreciating their work. Some of it anyway.

The last reason is that I have over sixty pics I want done. Commissions cost, man, they cost a lot and money is tight right now. Also, no matter how good the artist is and how great they follow my instructions, nothing they do is ever going to look exactly like what I have in mind. Well, except for DomDozz. He is fucking awesome, I swear, but he only does anime style. We're experimenting with semi-realism now and he's delivering quite well, but...but. And the other artists I've commissioned are taking MONTHS to finish. I don't know if that's normal, but DomDozz only takes days, at most a couple of weeks. One chic took only a few minutes, I kid you not.

I prefer realism for my commisions. I just love the idea of anime characters rendered as real people. So, I've decided to try my hand at drawing and so far I suck monumentally. I'm committed to learning, though, and have even looked up what materials I'll need. It'll be a hit in the pocket getting some of that stuff, but not as bad as shelling out for commissions every other minute.

The second thing that I consider a new adventure is I've just made an account of fictionpress, using the same name I use on ff.net. I have a short story already mapped out in my head to go on there. It's weird that I consider this new territory, since I've been working on an original story for some time now. Still, I'm used to anime fans and yaoi fan girls, not readers of original work. I think I'll consider this as more practice for my novel. I'll be able to leave the constraints of anime and yaoi behind to work on an original character. Using real world settings also promises to be liberating. I'm really looking forward to this and can hardly wait to begin typing the first chapter-

Damn. See? I originally wanted this to be a one-shot, but now I see it going to 10 or more chapters. *sigh*

That means I'll need to do an outline and all that other shit. Oh, well. I'm dedicated enough to this craft to put in the work, I suppose.

Adios