*Groan*

Ugh. I am sooo not feeling TTB right now. I don't feel like writing it even though it's basically all planned out in my head. I feel like writing every other thing except that fic. I'll be happy when it's done because right now I feel like it's a chain around my neck.

I wonder if this is what the writers of those stories that have those dreaded words 'ON HIATUS' or 'DISCONTINUED' attached to them go through. Maybe. But I will never tack those words onto a fic of mine. If it's started then it needs to be finished. And I will finish it. Nor will I do a half-assed job just to be done. I'll do my best work no matter what.

I suppose (hope desperately) that this feeling will pass. I bet locking myself in my room tonight in complete darkness will help. There, with everything a rich, velvety black and the only illumination to be had is from the MS Word I'm using, I think that the aversion to writing will go away. Writing in that kind of environment usually produces good work (ex: 'I'm with Sasuke/Naruto, Bonded, Secret Promise). I'm able to fall into my characters and the story writes itself. And if I play a little music softly...

Perfect. So that's settled.

You know...I wonder how original my stories are. I mean I don't read a lot of fanfiction so I wouldn't know. The fanfiction I do read isn't really Naruto. With hundreds of thousands of Naruto fics out there, surely the things I say in my stories have been said before? Several times? How original can one be in such a large fandom? Me thinks not very original. And there are ppl who dominate the NaruSasu/SasuNaru niche...ppl I will never be able to measure up to.

I guess it's not a competition. I write because I have something to say and I hope I say it well. That ppl read my work and seem to enjoy it is a wonderful and amazing thing. I've never shared any part of myself with anyone the way I do with writing and it's opened a part of me that's been closed my whole life.

Hopefully I'll be able to publish an original novel. I certainly feel closer to reaching that goal now than I did when I first began writing.

*Deep breath* This is why ppl blog. See? Now I feel better.