*Groan*

Ugh. I am sooo not feeling TTB right now. I don't feel like writing it even though it's basically all planned out in my head. I feel like writing every other thing except that fic. I'll be happy when it's done because right now I feel like it's a chain around my neck.

I wonder if this is what the writers of those stories that have those dreaded words 'ON HIATUS' or 'DISCONTINUED' attached to them go through. Maybe. But I will never tack those words onto a fic of mine. If it's started then it needs to be finished. And I will finish it. Nor will I do a half-assed job just to be done. I'll do my best work no matter what.

I suppose (hope desperately) that this feeling will pass. I bet locking myself in my room tonight in complete darkness will help. There, with everything a rich, velvety black and the only illumination to be had is from the MS Word I'm using, I think that the aversion to writing will go away. Writing in that kind of environment usually produces good work (ex: 'I'm with Sasuke/Naruto, Bonded, Secret Promise). I'm able to fall into my characters and the story writes itself. And if I play a little music softly...

Perfect. So that's settled.

You know...I wonder how original my stories are. I mean I don't read a lot of fanfiction so I wouldn't know. The fanfiction I do read isn't really Naruto. With hundreds of thousands of Naruto fics out there, surely the things I say in my stories have been said before? Several times? How original can one be in such a large fandom? Me thinks not very original. And there are ppl who dominate the NaruSasu/SasuNaru niche...ppl I will never be able to measure up to.

I guess it's not a competition. I write because I have something to say and I hope I say it well. That ppl read my work and seem to enjoy it is a wonderful and amazing thing. I've never shared any part of myself with anyone the way I do with writing and it's opened a part of me that's been closed my whole life.

Hopefully I'll be able to publish an original novel. I certainly feel closer to reaching that goal now than I did when I first began writing.

*Deep breath* This is why ppl blog. See? Now I feel better.

Oh, Gawd

Well TTb is finally started and I'm having a lot of fun writing it.

How, then, did I get roped into writing not one, but two request fics in addition to SafireCharmz' giftfic?

Well I agreed to the first request because the chic is such a great and faithful reviewer. A one time exception type thing, you know? But then this other chick said she read Mirrors and wanted a sequel with Naruto and Gaara doing a lemon. I was all prepared to say sorry, no. I even told her in my reply that I was really busy. But the idea stuck and wouldn't let go so before I even finished typing the reply I told her that I'd do it.

Then SafireCharmz got back to me with her pairing for her giftfic and it's like wtf? Why am I so busy when I had all intentions of working on only one fic at a time?

Well it's my own fault for accepting, I guess. I should learn to say no.

On a positive note, I am enjoying the stories themselves, so there's that. I've also acquired a beta. I have to say that so far I've given her 3 chapters to edit and she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I would have had the chaps done and uploaded by now, so I feel like using a beta slows the whole process down. I guess we'll see how it goes. It's just I'm tempted to edit myself as I always do and just submit the chaps but I'll wait till the weekend when my beta said she'd be free.

I've finally gotten some fanart done. It's of Itachi's kids. I'm going to put it on the Bonded blog. There's more artwork coming, should be completed in a couple of weeks. I'm so excited!

Adios!

Hmmm

Well, the giftfics are mostly done! Just waiting on SafireCharmz to get back to me with her request. My next project should be TTB but I kind of like the way my upcoming projects list is dwindling as I delete stuff. And since I won't be able to work on a single other thing while I'm doing TTB, I figure I should get some of those other fics out of the way before I start and while I'm waiting for SafireCharmz to get back to me. Seriously, TTB is going to be something on par with Bonded, I think, lots of chaps, lots of scope, lots of meticulously planned detail.

So. I think I'll work on the Bleach fic, Decompression. That's a multi-chaptered job, not much plot, sex, sex, sex. Should be fun.

Adios!

New project

Another fic successfully completed! I submitted the last chap for AY about an hour ago. The Kaito/ Hanabi oneshot was done days ago (You're Mine) and now I'm finally doing the giftfics.

I had to dig through my inbox on FF.net to remind myself what they were supposed to be about. The first one is going to DemonicKitsune-chan, a GaaNaru job. Ideas are already coming to me. I hope she's satisfied with what I produce.

The next one will be for SerenitySoul, a GaaraNeji and the third one will be for SafireCharmz. I have no idea what Safire wants, she said she needed time to think, but I'm going to start on DK-chan's right away.

Adios!

So Much Inspiration!

Honestly, I have so much I want to write, I just don't know where I'm going to find the time to do it all.

Well, for the immediate future (like in the next 24-48 hours) I'll be writing ch 7 of Always You and a oneshot about Kaito and Hanabi. After that (like sometime in the next 4-5 days) I have got to tackle the three giftfics I've promised to people. I don't think it's right to keep them waiting. And after that I guess I'll be researching and outlining Ties That Bind. Once those things are cleared up, we'll see.

Maybe then I can tackle the rest of my ever-growing to-do list. New Bonds has just been completed and I'm quite happy about that fact. I'm always happy when I can get something done. I feel like I've accomplished something. Once the whole Bonded saga is really over I'll probably feel a sense of relief. Not that I'm not enjoying every second, though!

I haven't forgotten about my bleach fic. It's just that so much else is taking precedence right now that I really can't work on it and do it justice. I owe it to my readers to responsibly conclude what I started with Bonded. I'm going to see to that and then I'll get to the rest.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good.

Adios!

Hello my life, how I've missed you!

Got back home the day before yesterday.

Hells Yeah!

Internet! TV! As much music as I want without ppl screaming at me about Ramadan this or that!

I feel my creative juices coming back, too. I pulled up Always You in Word and lo and behold...more plot fell into my lap just like that. I'm writing chapter 4. Hope it will be interesting and satisfying. I'm doing my best, but then I always do my best. Sometimes my best is pretty good, other times...not so much.

I'm forcing myself to work on Always You, too, since what I really want to do is write chapter 19 of New Bonds. Half of it is already written in my head, just waiting to be picked out on my laptop. And such an exciting part in the story, too! *Sigh*. But I'm disciplined enough and fair enough to see that Always You is due for an update. Besides, I promised I'g get ch 4 out after chaps 17 and 18 of New Bonds.

Let's see...if I type steadily through the evening, I should have ch 4 done and edited by late tonight maybe around midnight. I could have it posted by then, dawn at the latest.

Wish me luck!

A little mercy, please?

Ok.

I've been here for the past month.

I really don't think I can take much more of this shit.

Readers, you can chalk my lack of regular updates up to this last bit of traveling I'm doing. I'm over here in one of the Gulf countries. Living conditions are deplorable. The electricity goes out regularly. It's about 115-125 degrees farenheit every damn day. I hate the people I'm visiting and will certainly never trouble myself to visit them again. Today I had to walk across the border to renew my stupid visa. I can't wait to go home.

Needless to say, this atmosphere has totally killed my will to write. There's no privacy, quiet or peace. Nothing but filth and frustration. I HATE IT HERE!

That said, I did manage to get some writing done, so chaps 17-18 of New Bonds are on the way.

Can't write anymore right now, too pissed and hot.

Future projects

Ok, I got the upcoming works listed there in the sidebar. Items with an asterisk denote actual story titles. Everything else is just what the fic would be about.

Probably the next thing from the upcoming works list to be completed will be Decompression. It's a Bleach fic, my first in fact, and will have Ichigo, Inoe, Tatsuki and Chizuru. I might make it into a two-shot, maybe a little longer. It was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but...well some ideas have come to me. Basically, there will be a lot of sex (um...all of my stories have a lot of sex. Wow. I just realized that. )

Bye for now!

P.S. It's 120 degrees farenheight where I am and there is no A/C in the room I'm sitting in. Ain't that some shit?!

Adios!

Dark fics and other rambles

Just submitted the 3rd chapter for Always you. This chapter took a darker turn than I expected it would. With Until You I found that I actually like writing dark material. At least what's considered dark in fanfiction. Personally I feel things could go a lot darker, but whatever.

I think I like writing it because it's closer to real life. I empathize with it more as opposed to the comparably sunny material in Bonded and New Bonds. I disgust myself sometimes with Sasuke and Naruto's devotion to each other, it's just so sickeningly sentimental. Then I get over it because I'm such a NaruSasu fan.

I actually did stop myself from writing Itachi's sex scene with the girls in the way it originally played out in my mind. He was supposed to fuck a single three year old instead of all the girls he did. I could have made the original way poignant, but this way felt truer to my interpretation of his character in Always You.

Ah, Itachi. in this fic I hate and love him at the same time. He's different from Sasuke. Sasuke was someone who was originally good and was then corrupted by outside influences (his brother) and circumstances beyond his control (abandonment in the village). Itachi is another matter. I've decided that for this fic, he isn't a product of society, rather he just is the way he is. I'm toying with the idea of having Sasuke, flawed as he is, be the intrument of Itachi's salvation, but what form the salvation will take remains to be seen.

Well, no, I already know how it's going to be but that might change. Stories, especially characters in the stories, seem to have a life of their own. They do weird shit like take the plot in directions other than the one I was going in.

Now that I've gotten 3 chapters for Always out of the way, I'll be working on New Bonds. Fun, fun, fun! I left Sasuke and Naruto in a state. I fully expect wackiness to ensue, but I'm not sure how much comedy will be in the chapter. I generally don't put humor in my stories intentionally. Some things strike me as funny and I'll put it in, but not with the intention of depicting humor. I do it because I feel it rounds out the characters and feeds the story. Plus, funny shit just tends to happen in real life and it's usually stuff that was never intended to be funny.

There's potential for some profound moments to come up in ch. 16 of New Bonds, what with the body switch and the Bleach crossover. I'll do my best.

I just want to add here that the names of stories in the sidebar will be linked to pages that tell specifically about them. So far I've only linked Bonded, but I'll try and get to the rest later today, once I'm finished writing.

Till next time...

Adios!

Struggles

So, as promised I'm writing a meatier post. I'm kind of pissified right now; I made a list of all my works and added it to the sidebar there and now I don't see it. Maybe it'll show up later. I hope so, because I plan to put a list there of upcoming works and there really won't be any point if the fucking thing is just absent.

So, today I managed to complete chapter 2 of Always You. I started chapter 3 and so far I'm pleased with it. I swear to god though, doing this sequel to Until You was the hardest thing ever. I finished Until You, got a bunch of reviews saying I should do a sequel and so I did. I should have just left well enough alone. It's one thing to have a story and know how it's going to begin, progress and end. It's something else entirely when you set out to do a sequel and have no idea what the plot is going to be.

Anyways, I thought and thought...and thought. Finally, ideas started coming and I began writing the first chapter of Always You. I got as far as a few paragraphs and stopped. For, like, weeks. I had some kind of block. At that point I decided to map out the story with an outline. That helped. I got chapter one done, deleted more than half, then finished it up in a satisfactory manner. Chapter 2, now. I was stumped. I did the only thing I could think of and pulled out my trusty music. Sure enough, once the tunes were flowing, the ideas followed. I now know pretty much all that's going to happen in this story and how it's going to end.

Other than that, I'm currently working on my first Bleach fic. I originally said it was going to be just Ichigo and Inoe, but have decided to add Tatsuki and Chizuru. I have to add here that I am not attached to Bleach and the characters therein the way I am to Naruto. However, I found that after watching the latest episodes, some ideas came to me. I started work on it a few days ago. There are only a few paragraphs right now, but it's complete in my mind, so I just need to type it up when I get a chance.

Alrighty, I'm going to stop here.

Adios!

Hi, Guys!

I usually have a lot to say that I don't want to take up on my profile at FF.Net or in the author notes I put before my chapters so I've decided to create a blog. Friends and fans can check here to see what's going on with me, to find out info on stories I've written, am writing or that I plan to write.

I'll be putting a significant post up here soon, but now I have to go and customize my new blog.

Adios!